The Archetype or Heavenly Pattern of the Human Body

So there I was, scanning the endless shelves of the history section(s) for a quick read. Then I noticed an odd grouping of books nested amongst the world history topics. Titles like "100 Affirmations of Self" and "Worship of Osiris" caught my eye. 


Ah, the esoterics, the occultists of the turn of the century. How amusing you are now. I began flipping through a few of the books to sample them. "Okay," I thought, "you had me at 'The Philosopher's Stone and the mystic Elixir Vitae have a real existence and may be discovered by those who diligently search.'"


So if I haven't been updating as often, it's because I've been searching for the Elixir Vitae.

Eventually, the book claims, humans will reach a higher form where we all have flowers for heads. I am not joking.

The book I read from this section, "The Archetype or Heavenly Pattern of the Human Body", published 1937, was filled with such jollities as:

-Claiming that human civilization had been around for centuries before the central nervous system was invented.  

-Alignments of archangels, planets, and Zodiac signs.

-Reincarnation blended with pantheism blended with Christianity.

-The superior race, the Aryans.

-Claiming that each cell of the human body is composed of just Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. (Geez, molecular bio people, you claim it's"hard"? Seriously, memorizing four things? Give me a break.)

-Humans began as a gaseous form and coalesced as they evolved.

-The nucleus of each cell is visible as a glowing spark of immortal fire.

The slanted form of this list is representative of the Etherealized Form with influences of Ares and the Archangel Gabriel.


Until my existence concentrates in this Astral Plane again! (Catch ya later!)

Bollywood Screenshots

I might make Bollywood Screenshot Tuesday a thing. I might not. We'll see. The movie Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge is a 90's movie starring Shahrukh Khan and Kajol. The title means:

As per Bollywood law, a lead character must say or sing the title of the movie, possibly repeatedly.

What happens after you carry the bride away.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo maidens too.

Ew, Shahrukh, get away from me!

Kajol the hay demon. As per Bollywood law, the leads have to get extremely sloshed for important events to happen. Notice the bottle of rum she's holding.

This image is pretty much self-explanatory.

Also starring: a murderous Indian John Cleese. He kept this face for over 10 minutes.

The Epic (Fail) of Gilgamesh

Stop and think for a second about the title. There. Now don't you feel boilingly mad about how teh Internetz co-opted a powerful word and made it as weak as a pewling kitten? (Pewling: variant on mewling: it's valid.) Wait, wait, before you decry the downfall of "epic", think of what the 80's did to the word "awesome". The words "appalling", "awful", "terrific" (used to mean "terror-inspiring"), "glorified", "deplorable", "desperate", "cordially" (used to mean "from the heart"), "pass out" (used to mean "to die"), "marvelous", "dreadful", "divine", "horrible", "adorable", "blighter", "enchant", "heavenly", "also" (weakened from "similarly" to "in addition to"),  "admire", "encounter" (used to mean "meeting in battle", "to counter") have all met the fate of being weakened by colloquial use to some degree.

This weakening is not an internet-specific phenomenon; it's a slang-specific one. And slang has been around since, well, before the Epic of Gilgamesh. So with that linguistic tangent unrelated to the actual epic poem at hand through with, I would like to say that, yes, I read the Epic of Gilgamesh and I found it surprising and yet not at all surprising that what humanity counts as "success" hasn't changed a whit. Gilgamesh is the eponymous hero, Mr. Success himself, considering he's established himself King, is richer than rich, has beaten every challenge, and has dibs on every wedding-night virgin before he passes her on to her husband. (If you think that's scandalous, you should read the passage where Enkidu lays with a harlot for six days and seven nights.) What the Hammurabi, Mesopotamians?

You know, considering how wimpy the lion looks, is it really all that impressive that Gilgamesh slew a bunch of them?

The Mespotamians, to make a sweeping generalization based on scant anthropological/archaeological evidence, were not a very cheery lot when it came to worldview and religion. This is evident in the story; Gilgamesh goes dashing off to save his friend/brotha from anotha goddess Enkidu from the slavery of the afterlife, but is kicked out because it's impossible to rescue people from death. Then Gilgamesh returns to life only to kick the bucket a page later.

...and that about sums up my foray into 4000 year-old literature.

Bookses

Finals week. So do not have time for this. But I have to return books to the library, so I guess I'd better mention I read:

"500 Handmade Books": My only complaint about this book is that it itself was not handmade.

"Santería": I would like to say that I respect all religions. But animal sacrifices and worshipping gods with venereal disease? Umm... okay.

"The Alloy of Law": The "this is a stand-alone" statements had all better be BOLD-FACED LIES. C'mon.

"Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance": Enough has been written about this book over the years. Two comments: 1) Paranoid schizophrenia is not kind to its sufferers (Or... their families). 2) As I shut this book, I looked out the window and I saw a sign for Quality Inn.

...

Yeah, I don't know either.

The Pig War by Betty Baker

I actually detest most children's books. They commonly fall into the trap where the author believes that since the audience is a young child, they aren't looking for literary value, but rather "fun" and simple words. "Fun" words include but are not limited to forced rhymes (including a word "rhyming" with itself), words that end in "-ie" or "-ey", excessive alliteration, repeating repeating repeating repeating words, or other verbal obnoxities.

What the author isn't taking into account is that at most ages, the kid isn't reading the book alone. And kids don't read a book once. They latch onto their favorite(s) and make the parent/older sibling/babysitter read it ad nauseam. Except kids are IMMUNE to nauseam. Little punks.


I should've accidentally destroyed this one book maliciously after little little brother got bored with it (after a period of about three years) before little sister became obsessed with it (for a period of about three years).

Sometimes, in the dead of night, the words still haunt me: "Chick with the bow and the bunny are looking as hard as can be/ for chick with the bow's baby sister!/ Oh where oh where could that chick be?"

I don't know. I. Just. Don't. Know.  (Okay, actually she's in the hayloft with the rooster.)

In the words of Gru from "Despicable Me": "You call this LITERATURE?"

But THIS. This book is something I wouldn't mind reading a few dozen times to the ferocious little beasts, I mean, lovely children.

"The Pig War" is a true historical account (though some liberties may have been taken with the characters; I'm not sure) of a territory dispute between Britain and America over some islands off the coast of Washington state. Yes, there really WAS a Pig War. The only casualty was a single pig. It's a great story, and it's told in simple enough (though not gag-inducing) language so that kids could follow along and/or read it for themselves.

Instead of exchanging gunfire, the combatants threw potatoes at each other. Then they realized they were fighting over trivialities and worked together to stay fed through the winter.

Scratch that. This book isn't for kids. This is for the WORLD. Someone put potatoes in the Defense budget. Everyone, make nice with your neighbors.

And that, folks, is all.

How to Weld 29 Metals

The extensive mechanical engineering section has limited options, because most of the books are either longer than "War and Peace" or are so technical it would be the equivalent of me picking a book from the Japanese section and attempting to understand the characters.

Luckily, this handy little volume caught my eye. "How to Weld 29 Metals" is, well, just that. I learned that low-carbon steel is pretty much a welder's dream, whereas high carbon steel makes arc welders cry. Well, not really, but it does require a little more cajoling (heat treatment, etc.)

Here's me experimenting with techniques I learned in the manual. (Just kidding, it's some other guy.)

So I know the burning question in all of your minds is: what are the twenty-nine metals? (And for Sanderson fans, what are their Allomantic properties?)

1. Low Carbon Steels

2. Medium Carbon Steels

3. High Carbon Steels

4. 3 1/2% Nickel Steels

5. 4 to 6% Chromium Steels

6. Cromansil Steels

7. Man-ten Steel

8. Cor-ten Steel

9. Yoloy Steel

10. Yoloy Steel

11. R.D.S. Steel

12. Chrome-Vanadium Steels

13. Chrome-Molybdenum Steels

14. Manganese-Vanadium Steels

15. 12-14% Chromium Stainless Steels, 16-18% Chromium Stainless Steels

16. 18% Chrome–8% Nickel Stainless Steel, 25% Chrome–12% Nickel Stainless Steel

17. Stainless Clad Steel

Okay, right now the word "steel" looks like gibberish to me.

18. Austenitic Manganese Steels

19. Cast Steel

20. Cast Irons

21. Malleable Iron

22. Aluminum

23. Copper

24. Everdur

25. Herculoy

26. Monel Metal

27. Nickel

28. Bronze

29. Brass

No, Everdur and Herculoy were not just stuck in there to see if you were paying attention; they are actual industry name for metals, copper-silicon-manganese and copper-silicon-tin alloys, respectively. 

To weld, you deposit molten metal (usually of the same variety) on the melted surface of the joint. 

This is from learn-how-to-weld.com; the book didn't actually contain any visuals of this.

Some metals are actually pretty wacky to deal with. Aluminum, for example, does not show any visible change as it melts (you know, like iron turns red, then white hot). Instead, it suddenly collapses when it reaches its melting point. 

You should definitely consult this book if you want to arc weld metal. Also if you want to see diagrams entitled "Double Vee Butt Joints– Hands Down Position Coated or Shielded–Arc Electrodes". 

Love Poems by, I kid you not, Karl Marx

It seems improbable that that one teenage guy with the notebook full of angst-ridden, bad poetry is a future shaper of human affairs, a revolutionary, an economist, historian, philosopher, sociologist, and a founder of a new socioeconomic philosophy.

The poet in question

Marx, though, was definitely that one guy. At eighteen, he languished for his burning passion for Jenny Von Westphalen, who loved him with equal helpings of angst and burning passion. However, since she was four years older than him, she feared their love was improper and kept their promise of engament secret. She was also afraid that his youthful ardor would soon be extinguished, and asked him if he really loved her.

Jenny herself

In return to her pleas for reassurance he wrote romantic poems in a derivative Romantic style. He makes frequent references to bosoms, lyres, and burning passion. My favorite poem was called "Lucinda", and it told a rather melodramatic tale of a young knight who promised his love to a lady. He left to fight in her honorable name, and returned after much success to find his lady marrying another man. He gathered the attention of the wedding party, decried her infidelity, and promptly stabs herself. Not to be outdone, Lucinda grabs the dagger and has a go at herself. She doesn't die, though, and cackling madly and bleeding, she drinks from the fallen knight's blood and skips off with her new husband.

Geez, I wonder what poor Jenny did to earn that poem. 

Oh, by the way, they did end up getting married. They had seven children, one of whom they named Franziska.

Karl: What you didn't know is that I ALWAYS keep a pistol in my pocket!

I'm telling you, that one guy with the horrible poetry... watch out for that one. Especially if he begins cultivating shrubbery on his face and muttering about the proletariat.